The Lord of the Rings: The Two Bishies
by Royazali
Summary: Sequel to The Fellowship of the Pen. Like before, same story, diff. characters. Join Link, Legolas, and Pickachu as they try to save Rohan from killer penguins and Fan-girls! Others include: Marth, Zelda, Cid, Organization 13 and much more! FINNISHED!
1. Intro Neko&The tiara wearing pretty boy

**Hello once again! This is the sequel to Fellowship of the Pen so if ya haven't read it yet, do it now. **

**Now, what randomness can you expect from this fic? Well, just read and find out! New replacements I need to mention are:**

**Eomer- Marth **

**Gollum- Neko (oc)**

**And that's it! The rest you'll have to figure out yourselves! So, you know the drill…**

**Read and Enjoy!**

* * *

They were running from an armada of penguins. Quickly they crossed the bridge till one remained.

"YOU SHALL NOT PASS! JUDGEMENT!"

And with that he was gone. They continued outside to safety but instead encountered more penguins. Soon they were overwhelmed. Thick ropes wrapped about him as he fell. Struggling, he looked up into the face of his captor.

"Just one of many tricks this old man can teach you."

He leaned in closer…

"AAAAAhhhhhhh!"

Cloud woke with a start. Wiping the sweat from his brow he looked around. They were still in those accursed mountains. Riku was snoring next to him. Giving him a push, he woke up. Sort of…

"Five more minutes…" he rolled over.

Cloud sighed. "Blizzard!"

"Aahhh! What the hell was _that_ for?-!"

"You wouldn't get up." he said simply.

"Oh…"

Sighing they got up and headed off. Five minutes later they stopped.

"Hey, Cloud?"

"Yeah?"

"We're going in circles."

"Yep."

"'rrr' This _sucks!_ Where's Leggy when you need him?"

"Hey Riku-"

"I mean, the only thing he was good for was directions!"

"Riku-"

"And Link! Talk about Anger Management! He seriously needs help!"

"RIKU!"

"WHAT?-!"

"Do you smell something?"

"Huh?" He stopped and sniffed. A hint of roses hit his nose. It was kind'a nice. "Yeah, what is it?"

"I don't know but I smelt the same thing in Moria…"

"You don't think-"

"I don't know… Lets wait till dark."

So till dark, wait they did. They made camp and pretended to sleep. Soon the scent of roses came about them. Above them came crawling the form of a human or cat… Slowly it crept toward them…

"What's this, precious? Two bishies lost in mountains? Have It maybe they do, precious… Yesss… It they must have-It _I_ must have. Its ours!"

It leapt at Cloud and Riku who dodged and got ready to battle. As the moon came out, they saw what they were up against. They paled. Standing before them was a Fan-girl. She was short and had long brown hair; she was cosplaying as a neko. She looked at Cloud then Riku.

There was a pause.

"RIIKUU!" She charged him.

Not knowing what to do, he fell victim to her glompings.

"Cloud, help!"

He just stood there. "She went for him and not me… Curse you Dumbledore!"

"Cloud!"

"Just hit her, stupid!" he said in a rage.

"But she's a girl!"

"Riku! Such a gentleman!" She punched him. "Give me the precious!"

"Ow!" he punched her back and she fell off. He stood up panting. "What are we supposed to do?"

The Fan-girl charged Cloud next. He stopped her with one hand. "I don't know… Tie her up?"

She stopped. "Oh yes! Tie me up, Precious!"

"Ugh!" he let go.

"CLOUD!" She glomped him. "Give me my precious!"

"Get off!" he yelled. "Riku, do something!"

"Just hit her, stupid!" he mocked.

"That's it!" With one good punch, he knocked her unconscious.

They took a moment to catch their breathe.

"Well, what now?" asked Cloud.

"Well, we cant just leave her here…" -such a gentleman-

"Why not?"

Riku glared at him. "Maybe she knows how to get out of these mountains?"

"I doubt it."

"But she did manage to follow us all the way here so… Why not?"

Cloud looked at him. "She's not coming!"

"I say she is!"

"No"

"Yes"

"No"

"YES"

"FINE! But when she tries to do something to you in your sleep, don't come crying to me!"

So they set a watch and fell asleep. The Fan-girl already dreaming about bishies.

Meanwhile

-cue dramatic music-

Link, Legolas, and Pikachu were in hot pursuit of Sesshomaru. They had been traveling for quite some time now but traversing a huge world map on foot takes foh-eh-vah!

"Hey, Legolas… How far is it to this Isen place anyway?" asked Link.

"We cant go there yet…"

"Pika?"

"First we have to go to Edoras where we meet up with the king. After that, there's a huge battle. THEN we go to Isengard." he finished.

"Talk about a detour…" he said dryly.

They ran for another scene or two until they were cut off by a large group of cavalry.

"Halt! What business does an elf a pokemon and a-" He paused and looked at Link. He shifted slightly then smirked. "Im sorry, what does _two_ elves and a pokemon have in the Riddermark?"

Link was about to kill him when he suddenly recognized his voice. "Marth?"

The man named 'Marth' took off his helm and looked down at him. "Fancy meeting you here, Link."

"Pika? You know him?"

"Unfortunately… What are you doing here?-!" demanded Link.

"What have I always done? Im stealing your girlfriend, of course."

"Hey! You leave her alone!"

Marth got off his horse to face him. "You gunna make me, elf boy?"

Before WWIII could begin, Legolas changed the subject. "Marth, have you seen a demon with long silver hair come by?"

He glanced at him. "Yeah… The bloody cur wiped out half my Rohirrim. Said he was heading to Isengard. We tried to stop him but he headed for Fangorn…"

"So he really is going to Isengard…" he paused and turned to Link. "We should head to Fangorn."

"Fangorn? I thought we were headed for Edoras?"

"Yes, but there's a chance we could catch up to Sesshomaru. I'd rather catch him _before_ he destroys Isengard, if we can."

"Alright! Let's go catch ourselves a Sesshy!" cheered Pikachu.

Marth sighed and got back on his horse. "Fine, if you wish to finish this, I'll be in Edoras. I'll give your regards to your- sorry- _my_ girlfriend." He then proceeded to gallop away.

"That bastard! Get back here!"

"Link, stop! I don't know what kind of history you two have but right now we have to stop Sesshomaru, ok?"

Link glared at him. "He knows where Zelda is! I have to follow him!"

"Pika? Who's Zelda?"

"It doesn't matter. Right now we have to go to Fangorn. Link, please…"

"Sorry Legolas, but Zelda's in danger." With that he turned and headed for Edoras.

"He sure is dedicated, isn't he?" asked Pikachu.

"Yes, but that could lead to problems…"

"Pika?"

"Im just worried that straying from the main story could lead to further complications…"

So Legolas and co. headed to Edoras, skipping yet another scene!

* * *

**And there you have it! The first chap! I only intro'd 2 new c's but the others are in the next chap! Also, this fic is more like the book but all that means is its got an extra chap at the end. Which is a good thing!**

**I don't know how long this one will be -cuz its in parts- but I'll try to make it longer than the first. But Im not making any promises!**

**Anyway…thanx for sticking w/ this!**

**Till next chap!**


	2. Swamps, Kings, and Bishies, oh my!

**Ok, since I'm leaving this weekend I'll go ahead and post chap 2 now. This one might get a little confuzzleing cuz of the constant back and forth but I'll try to make it bearable. Also, there's going to be some 'language' from now on. Be amazed as I intro Théoden's replacement along w/ the Ring wraiths! Who are they? Also, we get to see Eowyn's as well! Anyway…**

**Read and Enjoy!**

* * *

Cloud and Riku were trying their best to ignore Neko -their nickname for the fan-girl- Not only had she led them into a swamp, she was singing at the top of her lungs…

"Deck the Halls with lots of Bishies! Falalalala lalala la! Tie them up and get all freaky-"

"Cloud, make it stop!"

"How?-!"

"They're so warm and cute and cuddly! Falala Falala lalala! Strip them down and start to-"

Just then a man in a black coat appeared. There was a pause…

"OMFG! It's Organization 13!" yelled Neko.

"No way! We killed you guys!"

"Guess you missed one," said Cloud.

The guy took a step back. "Oh man… Cloud AND Riku?-! I _told_ them they were sending the wrong guy…"

"Just who are you and what do you want?" asked Cloud.

"Huh? Oh!" He pulled back his hood, "My name is Demyx, Former Organization 13 member.

"Ugh! Its Fag boy… Cloud, Riku lets go!" They began leaving.

"Wait! Ooohhh, this isn't good!" He pulled out a flash card. "'If target fails to negotiate, use force.' Man…" He pulled out his Sitar.

"What are you going to do? Annoy us to death?" asked Cloud.

"You'll see… Dance water dance!"

"Aarrrg! Shut-Up!" yelled Neko. Full of rage she punched him, and he was out.

"Wow, Neko! Nice work!" congratulated Riku.

"I always wanted to do that!"

So they continued through the swamp, leaving Demyx behind.

**Link-Legolas-Pikachu**

As it turns out, skipping Fangorn was a good idea. As they entered the main hall the first thing they saw was:

"_Kratos?-!_"

Indeed. There he stood in his Judgement outfit.

"Link, I was beginning to wonder if you'd show up at all."

"What? But… the rabbit and and-"

"Do you honestly believe a rabbit could kill me?" he said flatly.

"Er well…"

"Kratos, have you freed Théoden from Saruman's control yet?" interrupted Legolas.

"Théoden? I do not know who that is…"

"Well he's-"

"Who the _hell_l are you?-!" demanded a newcomer. He had blonde hair, goggles on his forehead and a cigarette in his mouth.

"Hmph! Who are _you_?" asked Pikachu.

The man swiped his nose with his thumb. "You barge into _my_ castle and demand _my_ name?-! Guards! Seize these assholes and throw 'em out' a here!"

Legolas gasped. "Guards? Wait, are you Théoden? I mean, his replacement?"

"I aint no replacement! Im this here castle's king, Cid Highwind!"

"Cid?-!" There was a pause. "Nope, never heard of 'em…"

"Why you arrogant- Who the hell are you anyway?-!"

Legolas bowed. "Excuse me, your majesty. My name is Legolas. This is Pikachu, Kratos, and Link. We are on a quest to destroy the accursed Pen along with our companions Sesshomaru, Riku, and Cloud."

"Wait, what?-! You guys know Cloud? Hell, any friend of Cloud's is a friend of mine! Here, have some tea."

"No thanks…"

"Sit your goddamn ass down and drink your fucking tea!"

"Yes sir!" squealed Pikachu.

"That's the spirit! Yo, Zelda, get some tea!" he yelled.

Three minutes later Zelda walked in with a pot of tea. Link immediate got up and embraced her in a hug, nearly spilling the pot.

"Zelda! I've finally found you! Are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine." she blushed. "You were worried about me?"

"I was worried about what Marth might be doing to you."

"Speaking of him," interrupted Cid," Where the hell is he?"

"Right here, my lord. Marth reporting in."

"What seems to be the problem?" asked Legolas.

He ignored him. "It seems you were right, Lord Cid. The penguins have begun attacking."

"Is that so? Then its only a matter of time before they reach Edoras." He paused. "We have only one option! We must go to war!"

"What about your people?" asked Kratos.

"They can fight too!" he said enthusiastically.

"Lord Cid, if I may… Wouldn't it be best to get them to safety? Helm's Deep perhaps?" ventured Legolas.

"Wha? Fine, whatever… As long as I get to kick some penguin ass! Yee-haw!" He ran off to prepare for war.

"I suppose I should go inform the people…" said Marth. He turned, winked at Zelda, and left.

"That bastard! When I get my hands on him I'll-"

"Legolas," interrupted Kratos, " What do we do now?"

"Well… Im not sure…" he said troubled. "We _are_ supposed to go to Helm's Deep however…" He paused. "It all depends on Saruman, or rather his replacement…"

"Well, there's nothing we can do about it now so lets just go!" declared Pikachu.

So to Helm's Deep they went…

**Cloud-Riku-Neko**

Eventually, they made it out of the swamp and into better scenery.

"Hey, Neko… Not to be nosy or anything, but aren't we supposed to go to the Black Gate?" asked Riku.

"No, precious. Black Gate is a waste of time. We're going through the back door!"

"Back door?" asked Cloud.

"Well, more or a 'back stair', precious."

"Quite calling us precious!" yelled Riku.

"But you are my precious bishies, precious!"

"Listen you-"

He was about to continue when Cloud interrupted him.

"Oh my god, what is that?-!"

"Hm?" He looked over the cliff and gasped. "It's a leopluredon!"

"A magical leopluredon!" exclaimed Neko.

"Yeah? Well what's it doing here?"

"Its probably on its way to Candy Mountain."

There was a pause.

"So, where are we headed again?" asked Cloud. "Neko?"

"Shh! I smell something!"

"It was Riku."

"Was not!"

"Quiet! I smell-"

"Yes?"

"I smell-"

"Yesss?"

"Bishie! And a _hot_ one too!" She took off after the bishie's scent.

"Riiight…"

There was an extended pause.

"Hey, Cloud… Shouldn't we go after her?"

"No" he said flatly.

"But she's our guide!"

"So? If I can make it through an entire 3 disc game without one, what makes you think I need one now?"

"Well…" he faltered.

A couple minutes passed then-

"Kyyaaaaaaaaa!"

-a high pitched scream came from the woods.

"Neko!" Without hesitating, Riku ran off after her. Cloud sighed and reluctantly followed.

What they found, neither were prepared for… Neko lay on the ground, hugging the life out of the bishie she was glomping. He had brown hair, a scar on his face, and a gun blade lay next to him.

"_Squall?-!_"

* * *

**And there you have it! Chap 2! Like always, my second chap is better than the first. Just to clarify: Organization 13 is the Nazgul and Zelda is Eowyn. But who is Squall? O.O You'll just have to wait and find out!**

**On a sadder note: My lotr: tt movie died yesterday… 'sniff' It didn't deserve to die like that!**

**Anyway…**

**Till next chap!**


	3. New friend & The Battle at Helm's Deep

**Hello, once again! I see Im getting some readers, no reviews tho… But that's ok! **

**Oh man…This fic is almost done, AGAIN! Ai-ya! Guess I should start on the 3****rd****, huh? Oh well…**

**In this chap we learn Faramir's replacement -which you should have guess by now… And, for those of you who read the 1****st**** one, an element from chap 1 will Finally be intro'd. What am I talking about? You'll just have to read and find out!**

**-One more thing… Cloud knows Squall as Squall & Riku knows him as Leon, kay?-**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Roy was talking to a penguin -how you do that I don't know- when another waddled in and explained the situation to him.

"I see, so the Fellowship has disbanded… Where are they now?"

"Squee!"

"Interesting… So the bishies have fled to Helm's Deep. Ha! This is the perfect chance to eliminate them! McSquee, gather the troops. I must speak to them."

So 15 minutes later, they were all assembled. Roy looked out at them and raised his hand for silence.

"A new power is rising… Its victory is at hand."

"Squeee!"

"This night, the land will be stained with the blood of Rohan! March to Helm's Deep... Leave none alive!"

"Squueeeeeee!"

"TO WAAARRR!"

"SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Roy turned and left. Smiling to himself he said quietly, "There will be no dawn, for bishies…"

**Cloud-Neko-Riku**

Cloud and Riku has successfully saved Squall from Neko's glompings and were currently at his base…

"I see… So she is a Fan-girl. I've never seen one in person…" He put his hand to his temple and closed his eyes in thought.

"Leon? Hey, Leon!" yelled Riku.

"Its no use," said Cloud. "Once he goes into 'Squall Mode' its almost impossible to get him back.

"Oh…"

5 minutes later, he came out of his thoughts. "Cloud, Riku, thank you. But why are you traveling with a Fan-girl in the first place?" He looked at Neko who had hearts in her eyes.

"She is our guide. She's leading us to…uh… Where again?"

"Weren't we supposed to go to Murder or something?" guessed Riku.

"Mordor?-!" exclaimed Squall/Leon.

Riku was about to reply when he went into 'Squall Mode'. He sighed. "He sure does that a lot…"

"You have no idea…" said Neko dreamily.

"Riiight…"

So, 5 more minutes later he said, "You're going to destroy the Pen, aren't you?"

Riku gasped, "How did you know?"

"I don't just think of strategies and plot loops, you know…" He turned to Cloud. "You know the Ringwraiths are after you."

"Who?"

"Sorry, forgot. Organization 13."

"Yeah, we know… Neko already clobbered one!" Riku grinned.

He nodded. "That's good and all but there's still 12 of them…" He went into 'Squall Mode'. "Perhaps I should accompany you?"

"_REALLY?-!_" squealed Neko.

"Yes, but I do have my other duties. I can only go so far…"

"That's fine! No, that's GREAT!" She burst into song, "Bishie bishie everywhere, Bishie bishie climb the Stair!"

"Excuse me?"

"Huh? Oh, nothing!" She squealed, "Kyaaa! More bishies!"

So the next morning they headed for the Stair…

**Link-Legolas-Pikachu**

Eventually, they made it to Helm's Deep and prepared for the fight of their lives…

"Alright, get all the useless people into the caves." demanded Cid.

"Sir, its not nice to call them useless-"

"Shut-Up! Im the king and what I say goes! Now I want every man, boy, lad, and geezer who can put up a fight to be armed by the time I get back!"

"Wait! I want to fight too!" said Zelda.

"No!" shouted Marth and Link.

"Er, what I mean is… If something should happen to us, you're the only one who can defend the useless- I mean, defenseless people." amended Link.

She pouted and walked off.

"Real smooth , Link." commented Marth.

"Shut-up!"

"Alright, lets get suited up and do this thing!" declared Pikachu.

They just sighed and got ready. By the time they were done, it was night. They took their positions on the ramparts, waiting. And of course it was raining…ick.

"So, Legolas, what was this war like?" asked Link.

"It was very brutal. Many people died…"

"Oh, not anyone you know, I hope?"

"…"

"Legolas?" he asked worried.

Before he could answer, a war horn sounded in the distance.

"That is no penguin horn… Its-" He gasped.

An army of dwarves -yes dwarves- and penguins now faced them. Their number to many to count.

Both armies now faced each other. And how it usually goes, eventually led to a stand off. Several minutes passed. Finally, Cid couldn't take it anymore…

"Enough with this goddamn stand off shit! Give me that lance!" Taking aim, he threw it at a penguin and it connected! "Boo-ya! Head shot!"

The penguin fell to the ground dead, -duh- Upon seeing the death of a comrade, the penguins and dwarves charged.

"Hmph, here we go… Archers forward!" declared Marth.

Link and Legolas drew their bows also.

"Pika! I wanna help too!"

"No, your electricity would shock us as well as the enemy," informed Kratos.

As soon as the enemy got in range, they fired. Penguin after penguin fell as the arrows connected. Not so much for the dwarves, since they were smart enough the wear armor.

Seems they were smart enough to return fire, too. Dwarven archers -O.o- fired their arrows right back. Some of their allies fell but none important enough to mention…

Link spotted something amongst the enemy. "Ladders?" He turned to Legolas. "Can penguins climb ladders?"

"I don't know…"

Well he was about to find out. Ladder after ladder scaled the walls of Helm's Deep. Each accompanied by several penguins and dwarves. As soon as they cleared the railing, the real battle began…

"Ha! Legolas, 25! How 'bout you?" asked Link as he slayed a dwarf.

"You'll have to do better than that!" He loosed and arrow. "Im on 33!"

Pikachu head butted another dwarf in the unmentionables. "Will you guys slow down?-! Im only on 15!"

"Ha! But we've gotta-" He paused to slay a penguin. "long way to go to beat Kratos…"

Indeed, Kratos was on the ramparts blasting every enemy in sight with magic.

"Yes, but isn't magic cheating?" complained Pikachu.

"Actually, he's not even supposed to be here…" said Legolas.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well, he-" He was interrupted as a flying axe nearly decapitated him. "Perhaps we should focus on the battle at hand?"

They nodded and continued their fight. Up in the Keep, Cid stopped to inspect the battle.

"This it? Puh! That damn Shinra bastard was harder than this…"

Link had just finished off a rather nasty dwarf when something caught his eye… Something familiar.

"Holy- Legolas! Take him down!" He brought out his bow and tried to take it down himself. "Bring him down!"

"What is it?-!" yelled Legolas, as he too started shooting.

"It's a Super Bomb!" he answered, the penguin getting closer and closer to the wall.

"How do penguins get something like that?-!" He fired again but it still came.

"I don't- Aaahhh!"

With a mighty BANG, the wall exploded and they were sent flying, landing on opposite sides of the blast zone.

In no time, the dwarves and penguins had entered the fortress of Helm's Deep…

* * *

**Yay! Cliffhangers!**

**Anyway… The battle at Helm's Deep has begun! How will it unfold? Wait till chap 4 to find out!  
Also, anyone else notice that Cid and Link kinda act the same? Weird...**

**Anyway...**

**Till next chap!**


	4. Helm's Deep p2 & Sesshomaru returns!

**Yo, sorry for the long update. Stuff happened… Anyways, lets find out how the battle for Helm's Deep ended, shall we? And what ever happened to Sesshomaru? Read and Find out!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

On the other side of the fortress, the penguins had broken down the door heading in.

"Holy shit!" declared who else but Cid. He began running toward the door, lance in hand.

"My lord, no!"

"Shaddup! I can handle these assholes! Fucking Big Brawl!"

Cid charged the enemy head on. He was so fast, they didn't even know what happened. Five seconds later it didn't matter…they were dead.

"Now seal that damn door!" he ordered.

"Yes, sir!"

Elsewhere, the dwarves had created 'super ladders' and were about to board the ramparts. Upon seeing this, Kratos scoffed.

"I'll show you your powerlessness, Indignation Judgement!" In one bright flash, the ladders and everything near it disintegrated.

As good as this all sounds, they were actually doing bad. None of them had been in a war before. -Except Kratos but that was 4000 years ago.- Wave after wave of penguins and dwarves overwhelmed their forces at every turn and soon it was too much.

"My lord, we must retreat!" begged Marth.

"Fuck no! Let me go dammit!"

"No, come on! Retreat!" he yelled.

The army, or what was left of it, heard him and retreated. Or tried…some got shot in the back on the way… Once inside the main chamber, they braced the door and waited.

"My lord, what are we going to do?"

"What else? Go back out there and fight!" declared Link.

Cid grinned. "I like the way you think!"

Marth stared at them in disbelief, "This is madness!"

"Madness? THIS IS SPARTA! I mean… War! C'mon, lets go get those fucking bastards who dare take over my damn fortress!" He faced the door. "Fell deeds awake! Now for wrath, now for ruin! And the Red Dawn!" He scratched his head, "Or something like that…" He raised his lance and charged, "FORTH EORLINGAS!"

As dawn broke out over the fortress, the Fellowship, led by Cid, charged the enemy army. They were sickly outnumbered but it didn't matter… dawn equals no rain!

With a mighty 'Pika!' Pikachu unleashed his mightiest thunder ever! Add to the fact that Kratos used Judgement accompanied by Link's Bombos Medallion, and you get bad news for the one on the receiving end.

There was a horrific explosion and the enemy and even part of the fortress was destroyed.

A silence fell on Helm's Deep as they took in what just happened…

"We-We did it!" exclaimed Link.

"Pi-Pikachu!" cheered Pikachu.

"So it would seem," added Kratos.

"Heh, yes we did…"

"Huh? Something wrong, Legolas?"

"No, its just… This fight was too easy. In the movie, it was a 30 minute thing and we had allies… Im worried about what's going on in Isengard…"

So they go to Isengard.

**Earlier**

After leaving the Fellowship, killing some mortals who got in his way, and being stalled by talking trees, Sesshomaru had finally made it to Orthanc.

"So, this is Isengard…"

He began walking toward the double doors when penguins came to stop him. He dispatched them without breaking stride. Soon he was at the bottom of the stairs.

A voice shouted down at him from above.

"Who are you who dare trespass on these grounds?"

He looked up to see a red headed teen glaring at him. "Are you the master of this tower, Roy?"

"Yeah, what's it to you?"

"Hmph, then I, Sesshomaru, shall dispose of you. Dragon Strike!"

"Aahhh!" He ran back into the tower, which still stood after being hit by the Dragon Strike.

"What is this? Another butterfly incident?" He paused. "Very well…"

He sheathed his sword and began transforming into the great dog demon he was. With a mighty leap, he jumped into the air, slamming into the tower. Roy never knew what hit him. With a roaring crash, the tower collapsed.

Task done, Sesshomaru transformed back. He paused to survey the scene. The collapsing of the tower had destroyed the underground facilities and thus no more penguins could be created…in this fic anyway…

* * *

**Srry for the short chap, but this is where I decided to end it. This is actually where the movie ends but since its more like the book, you get a special ending chap! How lucky!**

**Also, xXSummerXx, once again thanx for review! Free cookies abound! And no, no Phantom yet. Deepest apologies. I am looking, promise! BTW- I like 'Phangirl' its cute.**

**Anyways… the next chap is the last one…I really Should start on the next one…heh. Anywho, no more updates for awhile tho, E3 is this week. But no worries! I wont forget about you guys!**

**Till next chap!**


	5. Special Ending: 1UPS and Fangirls

**Alright, I didn't want to put this up yet but if I didn't do it now, I'd never get around to it so here it is. The special ending chap of lotr: The Two Bishies!**

**Oh! Another thing: Prepare to be confused as I intro someone you should already know!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Legolas-Pikachu-Link**

What they found when they arrived at Isengard was of course destruction. And at the center of it all, Sesshomaru.

"You! Did you do this?-!" asked Marth.

He ignored him and turned to the Fellowship. "I did not expect to meet you again…"

"What do you mean? We're the Fellowship of the Pen! We're supposed to stick together!" stated Link.

"I do not cohort with lowly humans."

"Excuse me?-!" yelled Cid. "Who the fuck do you think you are?-! Why I out'a-"

"Lord Cid, not now." interrupted Legolas. "Sesshomaru, where is the Master of the Tower?"

"If you wish to find him, you're better off searching that tower."

"You mean what's left of it…" muttered Pikachu.

Kratos was about to speak when someone _else_ joined the party.

"Momma-mia! There you are!"

That's right. It was Mario.

"Mario how-"

"I killed you!" yelled Link. "How are you still alive?-!"

"Its-a called a 1UP! Im here for my revenge, Elf-a Boy!"

"You wanna fight? You got it!"

They started charging each other when Mario tripped.

"Ow, what's-a this?" He picked it up.

"No Mario, don't!" shouted Legolas.

Too late. He instantly started spazzing and collapsed. Springing into action, Legolas took it away from him, and concealed it.

"Mario, Mario are you alright?" cried Pikachu.

"What the fuck _was_ that thing?"

"A palantir," he said.

"Mario! Snap out of it!"

"Move." ordered Legolas. "Mario, can you here me? What did you see?"

"I saw a tree… It was burning… There were…marshmallows around it… She asked me if I brought the graham crackers. I didn't answer…"

He sighed, relieved.

"Relieved? How can he be relieved?-! Mario just had a premonition of destruction!"

"I was worried that it would be something else due to our previous actions but it seems everything's alright." He turned to Kratos. "Kratos, I need you to take Mario to Gondor."

"And why is that?" he asked.

"Because, the Fan-Girl Queen will be looking for her graham crackers. Meaning, she'll come here. We cant have that."

He nodded understandingly.

"Also, find Faramir, or rather, his replacement and ask him if he's seen Cloud. If so, then we may still have a chance."

"Alright." He paused. "Where is Gondor?"

"Its south east from here. Do you need a horse?"

Kratos looked at Mario. "I don't but he may-"

Mario interrupted. "Not to worry! Lets-a go!" With that he jumped into a random pipe and disappeared.

Kratos sighed, shook his head, unfurled his wings, and flew off.

"Oh! I forgot to mention! Watch out for Faramir's father, Denethor!" yelled Legolas.

There was a pause as they watched him go…

"That's nice and all, what with Fairy Boy flying and random plumbing but what the hell are we supposed to do now?" asked Cid.

"We are going to build an army for the war."

"What? But we just _had_ the war!" complained Marth.

"Not this war but for the war to end all wars. The final war…"

**Cloud-Riku-Neko**

On their way through Osgiliath they ran into Zexion but Riku quickly pwnd him cuz he's a pansy. Later that day they arrived at the Stair.

"Im sorry but this is as far as I go." said Squall.

"Very well, thanks for your help." said Cloud. In 'help' he meant keeping Neko from doing anything 'wrong'.

"Although we could have done without running into Zexion…" stated Riku.

"Think of it this way… Now there's only 11." He looked at each of them and turned to leave when Neko glomped him.

"Wait, precious! Come with us!"

"Im sorry but I must return to Gondor or something bad will happen."

"But-"

"We may never meet again but we'll never forget each other." He smiled.

She swooned and nearly fainted. "My precious bishie…"

"Farwell" Just like that he left.

"Welp, better start climbing…" He looked up at the Stair which was barely visible. "Oh man…"

He got about five feet up when Cloud shouted, "What are you doing?-!"

"What does it look like, stupid?-! Im climbing!"

"But…there's an elevator."

"Wha?" He looked down at Cloud who was pointing at an elevator. "Who the _hell_ puts an elevator on the side of a mountain?"

K-Tee hee!

So they took the elevator and in no time flat, were at the entrance to the cave.

"So, you're _sure_ this leads to Mordor?" asked Cloud.

"Of course, precious!"

He sighed, "Whatever you say…"

Five minutes later, they were running for their lives, a horde of penguins in hot pursuit.

"I knew this was a bad idea! This is all _your_ fault!" yelled Riku.

"_My_ fault?-! Im the one who said we shouldn't take her with us!"

"Well you should have been more demanding!"

"What do _you_ know of being demanding?-!"

There was no answer.

"Riku? Riku?-! Great, now we're separated…damn." He kept running till he made it to a clearing. He paused to catch his breathe and heard something behind him. He was about to turn around when suddenly he got jumped from behind. The last thing he remembered was an overpowering scent of roses…

Meanwhile

-haven't seen one of those in awhile-

Riku had just killed a couple penguins when he entered the clearing. He watched as a mob of fan girls, all with hearts in their eyes, charged Cloud. It was so sudden he didn't even know what to do.

"Cloud!"

"Squeeee!"

"Kyyaaaaaaaaa!"

"Let me touch him!"

"No, me!"

"Wasn't he with Riku?"

"Lets have them 'play' with each other!"

"Tee hee!"

Upon hearing what they had in store for him, Riku made sure to stay hidden when he noticed Cloud was not moving. Obviously one of the fan girls noticed too.

"Kyaaa! Oh no! Our bishie's been hurt!"

"Quick, lets take him home with us!"

"YAY!"

Excitedly they hurried off to their tower, Cloud in tow.

Riku was shocked. "Cloud's been captured!" He paused. "Who cares? Not like he was ever useful… I can destroy the Pen myself…"

He began walking away then stopped.

"Wait a minute… Cloud is supposed to be Frodo, right? So Cloud has the… OMG! Cloud's been captured!"

Don Don Don

To be Continued

…

* * *

**Yay! The Two Bishies is done! And its one chap longer than the first, mission complete!**

**And yes…I did kill Mario in FotP but I needed him back. Word of advice: Don't kill off your party members until you're sure you don't need them…'sweat drop'**

**I wont see ya next chap so…**

**UPDATE: THE SEQUEL IS NOW UP! LOTR: THE RETURN OF THE FANGIRL**

**See ya!**

"**So? If I can make it thru an entire 3 disc game without one, what makes you think I need one now?"**

**-Cloud**


End file.
